a post. you know, it could be a post with some photos on it, and a description about my recent experiences? with cimsa, lab research, non pathological block, or the fact that my first younger sister is going abroad to netheralands to continue her college there. she is taking life sciences major, plus the slap to my pretty face that i haven't done anything good. she got a schoolarship for it, and me? well, i am right here, right now, typing some words into sentences, but doesnt even know what is she going to write.
Grey's anatomy.
 |
| source : http://www.hercampus.com/school/ufl/fitness-finesse-official-grey-s-anatomy-workout-game |
does that name rings a bell to you? well, nope that is not one of the author of the anatomy book (like what i used to think) it's grays anatomy not grey.
And well yes, this is a tv series of a...............i dont know what words suits best. you can say, it tells you a daily life of a doctors, which is absolutely stunning but not really fascinating at the same time.
you can be a hard-core attending, a world class-surgeon but still can't manage your own grandson to listen to you.
and, having one of the most talented surgeon in any subspecialities on your family line, name it your mother, father, or even a grandfather is not really helping as it is, it could be fascinating sometimes, but the burden overcome the fun part most of the time. and that doesnt feel good. (considering you are not asking to be born in a family that runs a surgeon blood?)
i've been addicted to this tv series for weeks, even months. it gives me thrilled but also sucks at the same time.
Because seeing that i have the chance, i could be one of the hard-core attending, or a world class surgeon that rocks every single damn operations, can diagnose almost everything with or without full-armed medical tools (because sometimes experience might show her own way to works), and how being the hard-core doctor is really quite a scene. when you get to diagnose people (with a lot of works, practice, mistakes before it of course) then help them, best scenario they would live, a happy life, thanked you for things that you've done.
That is the scence that is quite thrilled. fascinating, that kind of feeling is the one that makes me keep watching the series. keep wanting to watch more episodes, and more, and more.
But at the same time, the part that you really have this one life to be sucked on. that means exactly as the sentence is. You only have this one life, and you can really really have the sucked one. very sucked one. you can live your life happilly but then one day you have hiccups, unstoppable one, the next thing you know you get pericarditis due to the tubes that helps you through with the hiccups, having some complications in OR then die on the table.
Well maybe because it is a tv series, they could be overreacting, they make it look more dramatics, so that it will attract more people to watch, making people who watch it (including me) to be so involved into the story.
But that dramatic overreacting planned story felt so real. that makes me really believes that everybody is screwed up person. You can go with "oh no, my life has been great, i got straight A's, i never got myself drunk, i pray, and do other good things that makes my life so great that it doesnt suit your -everybody is a screwed up person- sentence" but then just wait. Life has a remarkable unbelievable quite fascinating cooperative relationships with problems, strating from the very small one until the biggest one, the one that you tought you can't handle, or the one that leaves a scar, problems, trouble, whatever it is. will get in there, into your life, in some fascinting way and TIME.
and that feeling, of having a perception that everything is sucked up, everyone is screwed. is not getting better even after i get to watch the -quite fascinating- or even -termendous fascinating- scene on the series, is not good. i know.
But, i have been addicted to it, so what?
everybody is screwed already. they finish one problem, then the other one is not getting patient, waiting on the waiting list, figuring out how to make an entrance, a good one.
So what if everybody is already fucked up? then what? you live for living what? what is the purpose?
That has been my question in months.
not that i am being ungrateful of what i have, doesnt have to wait to turn it into what i had in order to do so.
But then what? you live this life for what.........? what exactly are you looking for? you fighting for?
is there anyone out there that can give me the damn answer. (well im on progress of asking it to the one i should ask it for myself. but complitely realized that i havent done it right)
*sigh*
okay, so this is me. fullfiling my urge to write, eventough i dont know what this is all about.
